Scars
by Darth Soror
Summary: Shinra is his only friend, despite how distinctly opposite they can be in some respects. Still, they have their similarities as well - for instance, some scars. Perhaps not all of them are physical, however, and perhaps Izaya feels more for his friend than he would like to admit. One-shot sort of Shinra/Izaya drabble/short fic.


A/N: Hey there, I haven't written anything non-academic that isn't roleplay in quite some time. But I've been roleplaying Izaya for several months now and, after becoming a multi-shipper for the first time (which is kind of funny considering I started out not shipping Izaya with anyone), finally tried my hand at a drabble for what I feel is an under-appreciated pairing. I've been meaning to try writing my other ship, Izaya and Namie, as well but I digress. In this little fic, you will find mentions of events in the light novels. I've only read bits and pieces of them myself, but I do know about some things I haven't read thoroughly as well. So pardon any little inaccuracies; I'm trying ;;

* * *

**Scars**

_Scar tissue that I wish you saw_

_Sarcastic mister know-it-all_

_Close your eyes and I'll kiss you_

_'Cause with the birds I share this lonely view_

* * *

_Scars remind us that the past is real…_

There was no proof of tomorrow, much less anything beyond the world to come with tomorrow. That was Izaya's basis for his proclaimed atheism. On the other hand, the past, he had told a misguided middle schooler, was the only thing that was real; it would even be happy to chase you.

He hadn't, of course, told that middle schooler just how he knew this. He had never once told anyone the truth about what had happened and rarely even spoke of the lie he had fabricated. But it still lurked in the recesses of his mind and, had the scar been his to bear, surely would have haunted him more. As it were, he had actually been the past to haunt the real culprit and still was all these years later.

When it was the informant's turn to gain a scar, there seemed to be far less concern shown toward him from his only friend. But now they would have similar scars from similar wounds. It was just another thing to tie them together, he found himself thinking. Perhaps the past was catching up with him and that was what made him feel as he did, but Izaya found himself feeling he owed Shinra a visit.

Celty supposedly knew what happened; she said Shinra had told her. But no one really knew if they weren't there. Even Nakura, who had fled the scene of the crime, couldn't fully know. It was between Izaya and Shinra, as far as the informant was concerned. No, this visit would need to be private. He would send Celty on some mission, he figured, as these things weighed on his mind…

* * *

Shinra hadn't been expecting a visitor, though to say he never received unexpected visitors in his profession would be inaccurate. Regardless of the frequency with which it happened, the underground doctor found himself opening the door with a look of curiosity and then a bit of surprise on his face. "Huh? Izaya? Celty just left. Weren't you the one who hired her for that job—?"

"Is Celty the only one I'm allowed to come for?" the informant asked leaving little to no time between the end of Shinra's question and the beginning of his own. Izaya tried to ignore the innuendo in his own words as he took a step closer to the door his friend had only partially open. Not that he had really bothered to come for anyone in that sense…

"I suppose not…but since when do you have time for random visits?" What began as a bewildered expression on the doctor's face became a smile. Some things were the same between them now as they had been in high school - the banter back and forth. Izaya shrugged nonchalantly, stepping through the door as the taller male swung it open further. "An old friend deserves a bit of my time, no~?" the informant answered with a question yet again.

Shutting the door and ushering the darker-haired male further into the place, Shinra gave his so-called friend a skeptical look though the smile remained. "You would send Celty on business and spend your precious time here with me? Frankly, I wonder if I should be flattered!" But the doctor knew Izaya better than that.

"She'll get the job done no matter where I am, right? So why not spend it catching up~?" The informant felt as though the past would be doing a bit more catching up with them than they would be doing with each other, however. Shinra had always been able to read him better than he could anticipate, though. It took no more than a look from the underground doctor for Izaya to know that it had clicked; he had sent Celty a job so the two of them would be sure to speak without her. Frankly, it had only been so subtle a move, particularly with someone who had known him for so long. A silence passed between them as they stood rooted to where they were. Their eyes were locked as well and they hadn't even made it far enough into the flat to take a seat.

Izaya couldn't tell how his former classmate would end up responding. After all, he had sent the dullahan away for this and the doctor hadn't hesitated to hang up on him in favor of a date with Celty while he had been in the hospital. That very hospital visit had been due to a knife wound which, by this time, had resulted in a scar. Not only was the wound inflicted in the same way as Shinra's had been, but in quite a similar place. Whether pointing these things out and dredging up the past would do anything to win the informant Shinra's attention (as if this was some kind of competition in which Celty then lost it), he could only find out.

After a few more moments, the doctor let out a sigh. "What do you want?" Izaya could have continued to play the innocent card and claimed he had no idea why someone might ask him that. However, that was just a waste of precious time. The informant wasn't even sure of his precise goal beyond taking some of Shinra's attention for himself.

"I don't suppose you managed to hear much more than the fact that I was stabbed." The statement was blunt. "Perhaps you'd like to take a look at how and where~" His tone was no more serious than ever, but he knew that Shinra understood the subject at hand far from matched the manor in which he had approached it. Another sigh came from the man in the lab coat. "I don't see how that would matter if it's healed up now," came the reply, but his voice was resigned. "Let me see, then."

Izaya's thoughts, for a reason he couldn't figure out, headed in an unbidden direction once again. This meant removing clothing, which he did quickly and efficiently for the most part. He allowed himself a little dramatic flair when it came down to the actual reveal, however, and slowed his actions.

The black material of his usual long-sleeved T-shirt slid over the scar tissue, revealing the physical yin-yang he and Shinra now virtually seemed to create. Izaya couldn't help but note this, recalling where the other male's scar should be. In some strange twisted way, the two did compliment one another, personality and appearance alike.

Nearly lost in these thoughts, Izaya almost didn't notice the bespectacled man's fingers reaching toward the new, barely healed-over skin and gliding over the scar. It tingled in some strange, pleasant way. He hadn't anticipated the touch, but it was not unwelcome despite the slight flinch of surprise.

After a few seconds, Shinra's gaze returned to meet Izaya's, but his fingers remained where they were. "And why did you want to show me this?"

Tossing his shirt and jacket the short distance to the couch with a casual air, the informant shrugged. "No reason, really. I only wanted you to see the damage. After all, that scar of yours should have been mine…" He could have added the fact that his time in the hospital had been quite uneventful and lonely up until the night he left despite his repeated calls to Shinra. But how he had felt was not a matter he would discuss despite the fact that he was aware Shinra knew him better than to believe this wasn't planned to some degree or that there was no reason whatsoever.

"Have you ever really seen it? Since it happened, I mean." So Shinra was willing to talk about it this much, at least. Should the conversation carry on, Izaya wasn't sure he would know how to continue or what to say. It was his own fault for instigating this in the first place, but he wasn't about to turn back now that he had. He only wondered why - why Shinra was the only one he saw as more than just another human, why he cared about Shinra as much as he did. And how could Shinra evoke emotions in him that no one else could?

In answer to his friend, the informant shook his head. "You would know, wouldn't you?" The smirk on his face was mechanically the same as ever, but someone who knew him better or was simply more perceptive could see it was more forced than usual. He was hiding any feelings he had behind a mask.

The words were barely out of Izaya's mouth before the underground doctor uttered a "Well then—" and began unbuttoning his lab coat and loosening his tie. The shorter of the two let out something of a chuckle. "I never said you had to show me. I was there; I know what happened." But Shinra continued, the shirt being the next thing to unbutton.

"Maybe so," came the response, "but I don't think all the wounds have healed. Not mentally, at least. Maybe if you see it's fine now, you'll leave this whole thing behind you, Nakura and all."

Trying to make light of the situation, Izaya made one of his wise-ass comments. "And if not am I allowed to kiss it better?" As his friend removed the necessary clothing to reveal the scar though, he wondered just how much he had been joking despite his tone of voice. Shinra shot him a look before responding, "It's my professional opinion that you would need that kind of treatment more than I would." Whether or not any such thing could or would transpire, however, was not answered. But the answer had not been no, so if impulses went to work here, Izaya would let them.

"So just what are you expecting me to do?" the informant asked.

"What I'm _asking_ you to do is face this and let it be, once and for all. Look at the scar, touch it - whatever you need to do."

Izaya raised a brow at this, thinking back to what he had just asked moments ago, but he didn't reply verbally. He began by reaching out his hand to pass his fingers over the scar tissue, then leaning closer to look. He was almost too close to really be looking now, but Shinra made no protest. Izaya glanced at his friend's face quickly - unable to act entirely on impulse, it seemed - to find the doctor merely watching him, though his expression suggested mixed feelings. Still, Izaya reduced the few remaining centimeters to virtually nothing, brushing his lips over the scar before slowly straightening up.

He couldn't read Shinra's expression when he glanced at the doctor's face once again. They held eye contact for a few seconds before Shinra closed his eyes briefly and sighed. "If you saw fit to give me such treatment, I can only imagine how much more you would need." There were another few seconds of silence between them before Izaya found his former classmate's skin touching his own once again.

Not allowing himself his genuine feelings, Izaya asked, "Does this mean the good doctor is going to treat me?" His tone was no more serious than normal, but he could feel that same pleasant tingling from before. Emotions could be repressed and ignored, but the physical reaction was undeniable. In his mind, he wondered if Shinra wasn't simply doing this in hopes of it resolving the issue so he might never have to deal with something like this again, but whether or not that mattered was yet to be determined. Now was its own moment, though it had the potential, like any other moment in time, to become a past that would chase them.

Shinra's answer was physical rather than verbal. His fingers traced their way off of the scarred flesh as he took his turn to bend and place his lips to his friend's side. He applied more pressure, however, actually kissing the place where the wound had been rather than simply brushing his lips across it. It last longer as well and left Izaya silently wishing it wouldn't end. It did, of course, and Shinra was straightening up again after a few seconds with a soft smile on his face. "Better?"

Izaya returned the smile, though it was a tad more of a smirk as his smiles tended to be. As long as things were going in his favor, he would push his luck just a little bit further and allow himself to act on an impulse, even if he didn't entirely understand said impulse. "Ah, one more thing, I think," he answered, lessening the distance between the two of them, which had only been so much already. Leaning up the few centimeters between himself and Shinra, he could feel the other's hesitation. There was no resistance, however, so the informant found himself closing the gap - eyes shut - and stealing what could very well be the doctor's only mouth-to-mouth kiss.

He lingered some, but pulled away quickly enough to see his friend's reaction. When no comment was made and only a surprised, unsure silence ensued, the informant justified the action rather than explaining it. "You're not likely to get something like that from Celty." And in a way, he felt as though the two of them were continually completing each other somehow and that this had been a part of it. They were like two halves of a bizarre whole - equal and opposite, but also somewhat similar.

"I guess not," Shinra replied somewhat dumbly. Perhaps he had as much on his mind as Izaya had on his. Either way, he occupied himself by putting his shirt, coat and tie back on.

Pulling his own shirt and jacket back on, Izaya briefly wondered whether he told himself and the world that he couldn't produce concentrated love for any individual because he knew the one he could love had always loved someone else. He quickly dismissed it, plausible though it was, and made to leave. He waved over his shoulder with a casual comment of "I'm not sure whether it's a thanks or an apology you'd like, but you can have it either way. And this will remain confidential, of course~"

"Of course." The doctor didn't specify his preference of thanks or apology. He only waved at the back of the informant. He did not escort the other out, but called after him as he opened the door to leave. "…Maybe we could talk over coffee sometime—!"

What this meant for someone who seemed a tad dumbfounded by what had just happened and someone who often denied himself his feelings was either one's guess, but Izaya cast a backwards glance at his friend from the doorway, some form of smirk or smile on his face. "Maybe so~" And with that he was gone.


End file.
